Finished and supposed to be looking for a job

So...I finished my dissertation, graduated, and made it through another semester (almost). But now I'm looking for a job. Why do people say things like, "Just finish that dissertation, man. You'll be glad that it's done"? I'm serious; people said stuff like that to me all the time while I was a graduate student. And now that I'm done, do you know what I think? I think that it was completely untrue. I'm very happy with myself for graduating, but looking for a job is one of the worst experiences ever. I've only had a few leads for something like twenty applications, but if I have to spend another year as an adjunct I may just start telling people what I really think...

and we all know how that will go over!

Let's hope I get a job!
Merry Christmas!

Supposed to be grading

Man, teaching is the best job in the world except when you have to grade. Seriously, I have a very good idea of everyone's abilities and could just give them their grades, but no...I have to sit and grade papers until I want to pull a Gloucester...

--O, Stephen will apologize.
Dante said:
--O, if not, the eagles will come and pull out his eyes.--

Pull out his eyes,
Apologize,
Apologize,
Pull out his eyes.
Apologize,
Pull out his eyes,
Pull out his eyes,
Apologize.

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man



And to that asshat who flamed my sister and brother-in-law: fuck you! I know you'll never read this (no one does, which is just fine) but you can just die fart-eater. Ugh; wish I could reach through the computer screen to him!

My sister

My Friend Mark...

So I've this friend named Mark. He's very nice if you know him and not so nice if you don't. I mean, he's not rude or anything, he's just kind of a standoffish prick if you're a slob like most people. Do I float my own boat by saying I'm proud of having him as a friend, you bet I do, but he's the type of guy from whom you hear really interesting things. Yesterday evening I got an email with the title:

Bertrand Russell quote
[the following is all that was in the email]

One of the commonest things to do with savings is to lend them to some Government. In view of the fact that the bulk of the public expenditure of most civilized Governments consists in payment for past wars or preparation for future wars, the man who lends his money to a Government is in the same position as the bad men in Shakespeare who hire murderers. The net result of the man's economical habits is to increase the armed forces of the State to which he lends his savings. Obviously it would be better if he spent the money, even if he spent it in drink or gambling.


Now, Mark didn't get points for passing along a quotation the way most people pass along bullshit forwards. Nope. Mark gets points for quoting Bertrand Russell and for being a former military man like myself. This is exactly why we need more than two parties in this nation...there's no way we should have to be simply for or against something...

A lot of the time I like to think I'm like Mark, against stupidity.

Micro Cuts

Micro Cuts

Hands are red with your blame
Megaphone screaming my name
Whimpers someone I should've loved
Souls weeping above

I've seen what you're doing to me
Destroying puppet strings
To our soul

Micro waves me insane
A blaine cuts in your brain
To sounds like forks on a plate
Blackboard scratched with hate

I've seen
What you're doing to me
Destroying puppet strings
To our soul



Now, I know that this doesn't really count as a post, but I'm conflicted at this point in my life right now. I mean, part of me wants to finish the dissertation and move on. Part of me wants to get past my hang ups for the thing, get a big fuckin' tattoo on my arm (or neck) and do whatever I feel like rather than doing what I know to be my future. Ugh, that sounds way more like complaining than it should...and the baby's crying. Gotta scoot!

Throw Some D's On That Bitch!

You Know When U Jus Get Your Report Card, And You Have All F's On It U Just Wana Take It Back To The Teacher And Say To Throw Some D's On That Bitch!

Yeah, I know, it's more than a bit cliche, but it's too damn catchy and too damn funny from a teacher's p.o.v. Honestly, the Soulja Boy version is fairly idiotic, especially when you think of little kids hearing the lyrics and thinking they're anything except comedy. In that light the song's just spooky. But if you take it from Girl Talk, and you best know that I do, the lyrics can have any number of meanings, and I think that's what Rich Boy was rappin' about.

Anyway, fuck off...

haters.

Charlie's bad hair day

So this is what the boy looked like when he woke up from his nap the
other day...

And I have to say, I like blogging from an iPhone! It's super easy...

Charlie's first time playing on the patio

Our neighbors...

On one side of our house we have a fantastic family as neighbors. They're kind, conscientious (I mean, if we're not home they'll mow our front yard, as theirs runs into ours), and altogether neighborly. I love this family; their daughters watch our son and we'll go over for a drink on the patio now and then.

On the other side of our house though, it's a different story (as it usually is). They've got beagles that howl outside at all hours of the day and night. Their kids have torn up my front lawn by inviting the entire neighborhood to play football there to the point that it's a muddy sty. And no matter how many times I've asked the kids to stop playing or talked to them about the dogs, there's never any change. Now, I'd like to throw fuel on the fire and say they're brash, ugly people, but that's not realistic. They're just poor neighbors...and one of these days I'm going to figure out what to do about those fuckin' dogs! (Can you tell they're barking right now?) More later...

Charlie playing on the patio

apps

So I'm supposed to bring appetizers for Brian's birthday party tomorrow and I don't know what to make. I mean, honestly, I can make about a dozen perfect appetizers from scratch off the top of my head, but those are usually of a type that's made to be followed with a particular meal or type of food. I guess it would help if I knew what was for dinner, but all I can remember is something Deepali said about making thinly sliced beef.

Bother.

Anyway, I'm really just posting so I can put off writing, and I'm going to go write a page right now. I'm about 26 pages into the fourth chapter at this point!

This is one of my favorite buildings standing today, The Tate Modern in London. It has paintings, sculpture, etc. Random acts of artwork from the modern era, but it's really fantastic that the building of the museum stands as a reconfigured landscape itself. Last time I was there with my in-laws and didn't really get to spend the time as I wanted (plus I think I was hung-over as a dog). But the trip before that--my first time there--was when we were in England with my wife, her sister, and her sister's husband, and I think we were all just stunned by the fantastic holdings and the size of some of the exhibitions. Wish we could take a more active approach to such collections here in the States, but I've only really seen comparable museums in New York. There's really very little here in Indiana...ah, well. Perhaps I'll have to plan another trip abroad!

Here's the Joan Miró that I love at the Tate:

It's the shirt I want, but I don't think I'd get as many laughs as I had when I read it. I mean, seriously, this shirt speaks to me and my white-man's burden. Heh, if you're not laughing you certainly wouldn't like the rest of my jokes...

Ben told me my long-time favorite: What do you call a snail on a ship?

Answer: A Snailor!

But seriously; I must get this shirt!

MGMT

I've been listening to Oracular Spectacular lately...quite a bit, actually. It's a much better album than I had initially thought. The tracks "Time to Pretend" and "Weekend Wars" seem especially poignant in their forward-looking sense of nostalgia. That might seem to be a bit unrealistic, but I found them while listening to Cut Copy's In Ghost Colours and that's what I think...


As to the lyrics, I think it might be best to point out that "Weekend Wars" and "The Youth" are probably the most representative...


Evil is I, Yes to find a shore,
A beast that doesn't quiver anymore,
And we can crush some plants to paint my walls,
And I won't try to fight in the weekend wars

Was I? I was too lazy to play
Or paint or write or try to make a change.
Now I can shoot a gun to kill my lunch
And I don't have to love or think too much.

Instant battle plans written on the sidewalk
Mental mystics in a twisted metal car
Tried to amplify the sound of light and love.

Christ is cursed of fathers and mother
Might even take a knife to split a hill
Or even scare the children off my lawn
Giving us time to make the makeshift bombs

Every mess invested was a score
We couldn't use computers anymore
But it's difficult to win unless you're bored,
And you might have to plan for the weekend wars.

Try to break my heart, I'll drive to Arizona.
It might take a hundred years to grow an arm
I'll sit and listen to the sound of sand and cold
Twisted diamond heart, I'm the weekend warrior
My predictions are the only things I have
I can amplify the sound and light and love

I'm a curse and I'm a sound,
When I open up my mouth,
There's a reason I don't win,
I don't know how to begin.

teaching

so I had a serious fuckin' drain clog yesterday...

I cleaned out tons and tons of asparagus from our garbage disposal and it was a real fuckin' bitch...

...seriously.

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to write about, I'm looking for a bit of therapy. In my fantastic, thirteen-year-long relationship with the love of my life and the mother of my child (both, luckily, the same woman!) I've never once strayed...nor will I. But into each life a little rain must fall and I've found that--on occasion--my eyes stray. I wonder if I'm alone in this sometimes, but most of the time I think I'm just like everyone else and that everyone else lives out their daydream fantasies just like I do...as fantasies. The latest?

...*edited by me!*...

I'd write it down, but I know that I'm writing for posterity and therapy, not popularity. Nothing will ever come of it anyway. Fork.

stolen from wombat

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.

this is from The Schoolmaster:

And although Sturmius herein doth far pass all other, yet hath he not so fully and perfectly done it as I do wish he had and as I know he could. For though he hath done it perfectly for precept, yet hath he not done it perfectly enough for example; which he did, neither for lack of skill nor by negligence but of purpose, contented with one or two examples because he was minded in those two books to write of it both shortly and also had to touch other matters.

Bartholomaeus Riccius Ferrariensis also hath written learnedly, diligently, and very largely of this matter even as he did before ver well De apparatu linguae latinae.

(who ever said context was for pussies?)

a hell-of-a-long-time coming

So another year has gone by, but at least this time I've got the chapters to show for it. Here's a run-down on what's going on...and I know, this is strictly for my own records:

• Charlie was born - it has been almost a year, he's ten months old, but crawling and climbing everywhere...
• Chapters 1-3 are completed, Chapter4 is past half, and I'd like to walk this semester if possible...
• I paid off my first car loan...
• We're actually receiving a tax-refund this year (all the thanks go to Charlie for this!)
• I've taken my cooking to another level...still not baking, but that's not far off
• I did, finally, get an iPhone 3G that I haven't broken (yet)...I was going to get a refurb for $150 from att.com, but they're only available for new customers...so after I called customer service with my WTF attitude, I just went out and got one with the remnants of my student loan.